10 Things Never to Say to Bisexual People
1.Bisexuals are attracted to anything that moves.
Oh, please. Just because someone is bisexual doesn’t mean they don’t have standards. This is the same logic that homophobic dudes use for why they don’t want to share a locker room with gay men. You wish we were looking at your junk, honey.
2.Bisexuals are cheaters
A cheater is a cheater. Bisexual people cheat, and so do people who identify as straight, gay, trans, or anything else. A person’s sexuality or gender identity doesn’t make them cheat.
3.Bisexuals don’t exist.
Some people simply can’t fathom a sexuality in which individuals are attracted to more than one gender. You can test the waters, but you eventually must pick a side, the thinking goes. But bisexuals don’t need science— or the approval of those attracted to only one gender — to prove that they exist.
4.Bisexuals are just going through a phase.
Yes, it’s true that plenty of gays and lesbians used bisexuality as a way to soften the blow of coming out to conservative parents. Many may even have identified as bi for a time while they were still making sense of their own orientation. And while coming out is an intensely personal decision, the strategies of some should not invalidate the identities of the majority, for whom bisexuality wasn’t a “stepping stone” but the final, concrete destination.
5.Bisexuals are sexually greedy.
Bisexual people are not automatically more promiscuous than any other person — gay or straight. Being attracted to more than one gender does provide more potential partners, but it doesn’t increase one’s likelihood of physically or emotionally connecting with said potential partner. And just as having an eclectic taste in wine does not make one an alcoholic, being bisexual does not make you greedy.
6.Bisexuals are scared of commitment.
Being attracted to both genders doesn’t have anything to do with commitment. Alan Cumming addressed this misconception in a candid interview last year. “I have a healthy sexual appetite and a healthy imagination,” Cumming told Instinct magazine. “I still define myself as a bisexual even though I have chosen to be with Grant. I’m sexually attracted to the female form even though I am with a man and I just feel that bisexuals have a bad rap.”
7.All women are bisexual.
The sexualization of women knows no bounds in today’s contemporary culture. But just because mainstream media continues to exploit female sexuality in a transparent attempt to sell products doesn’t mean that all women swing both ways, a la Shakira and Rihanna in “Can’t Remember to Forget You.” Sorry, Shakira, we’re not buying what those hips are selling.
8.Bisexuals spread HIV.
Men who have sex with men are at a disproportionate risk of HIV infection. But that doesn’t make bisexuals more likely to spread the disease — taking the proper precautions is necessary regardless of your sexual orientation. Always use protection, and know your partner’s status and your own.
9.Bisexuals live for threesomes.
Threesomes are not a hallmark of the bisexual lifestyle — they are merely an option, just as they are for any other sexual being.
In 2007, a survey of 768 self-identified lesbians, gays and bisexuals found that a full 48.9 percent identified as bisexual — nearly half. Bisexuals might not speak out as much as their lesbian and gay siblings, but that’s more likely due to lingering stigmas than it is to a lack of numbers. Like it or not, bisexual people are here, and they’re here to stay.
Editor’s note: This post first appeared on PolicyMic and is reprinted here with permission.